Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Damn You Curly Fries!

2 Saturdays ago I awoke bright and early to face my impending doom at my weekly weigh-in and weight management support group. Well aware of my weigh-in fate, dread crept into my thoughts. A consultation with Dionne Warwick and her psychic friends...not needed nor required to predict the results of a week's worth of poor food choices (*heavy sigh...deep thoughtful contemplation*) I blame the curly fries, plain and simple. As I dressed for the meeting I nervously anticipated my weigh-in. Wanting to reach my 20 pound goal, I began concocting schemes in my head to increase my chances of weight loss. AND at that, point my irrational thought process commenced...I thought to myself...self:

"What if...just what if...I weighed my bra and panties on my food scale to determine my heaviest undergarments? I may...I just may shave an ounce or two maybe three, possibly four by choosing to wear the lightest undergarments. Hmmmmm. OR" What about going commando?"

Going Commando: The practice of not wearing undergarments under one's clothing. For men the term "going commando" is also referred to as "free balling." For the record, me...going commando...not a viable option.

Wanting a seat for me meeting,I scrambled to get dressed in order to make it on time. Fast forward...Sooo...I arrived to my meeting location. I approached the scale, and immediately I'm mean mugging the scale thinking, "Scale, don't start none, wont be none!"

Mean Mug or Mean Muggin: To scowl at one's opponent in efforts to provoke said opponent into a confrontation. Used in a sentence: "I know you are not mean muggin me. What cha wanna do?"

Just as I suspected, a 1 pound gain. The scale revealed my indiscretions. Tattletale. Not surprised, I removed my weigh in booklet from the counter and retreated to a seat in the meeting room. I sat and reflected on my defeat, and realized my son's abandoned curly fries was not the only culprit that contributed to my dietary recklessness. The other saboteurs included: a sleeve of peanut butter sandwich Girls Scout cookies, a one Mr. Captain Crunch and his friend Mr. Sugar Bear, many trips to the candy jar in the classroom next door...and so on...and so on...and so on...okay lesson learned. Instead of dwelling on my failure I internalized the weight loss information I've gained thus far, so that I can insure weight loss success in the weeks to follow. I deduced the following:

1. The scale should not be used as the only determinate to measure my weight loss success. When the numbers on the scale refuse to cooperate, I must also take into account my non scale victories (NSVs). My NSVs include whittling down 1 dress size, recognition of weight loss from friends, family and coworkers, and not falling victim to indulgent cravings.

2. All trigger foods must be removed from the environment. If curly fries, or french fries period cause a feeding frenzy, then Jack-In-The-Crack is off limits.

3. Work the plan: exercise, keep a food diary, plan, plan, plan, plan, plan, plan, plan, plan. Okay I get it. Planning is CRUCIAL.

"When you fail to plan, you plan to fail!"

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