And MY Belly Shook Like a Bowl of Jelly. . .

First things first...to my surprise, my weigh in results yielded a 1 pound loss. I walked through the doors of WW this afternoon with the mindset that I failed last week and I expected to see a gain. You see, sometime last week during winter break, I decided to somewhat step back and take a small break from this whole weight loss battle.

For those of you struggling, do you ever feel exhausted from constantly thinking about weight loss 24/7? I know I do. The stress of not meeting a personal goal, losing 50 pounds by the end of 2009, began taking a toll on my motivation and started to make me feel like a failure. So, last week around my 4th buffalo chicken bite and 2nd pot sticker at T.G.I. Friday's I decided to just chill and relax. At Friday's I wanted to enjoy myself and not think about weighing in, working out, food point values, tracking, etc.

Constantly thinking about those things when hanging out, partying, or just chilling with friends SUCKS the fun right out of any festivity. I took the "chill approach" on quite a few outings last week, which explains my surprise of this week's weigh in results. But now as I write this post and think about last week, I still made the occasional good choice, such as spliting a burrito at Chipotle with my Mom.

Even though I occasionally chilled I still worked out by running 3 miles 4 days last week. And working out also proved challenging as well. One day I sat in my car at the park just looking out the window. I somehow hoped the results of jogging 3 miles would somehow cosmically transfer to my body while silently sitting in my vehicle. As I feared the approaching sunset, I finally decided to leave the comfy confines of my car to complete my workout.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! Sometimes I just feel like screaming.

SO WHAT NOW?
After attending today's meeting, I understand that I must commit to working harder when dealing with emotional eating. Part of my plan to combat mindless eating includes asking myself the following questions:

1. Why am I standing in the pantry with my hand submerged in a bag of marshmallows? Am I really hungry?
2. What am I feeling? Boredom? Anger? Frustration?
3. What is my mind saying? "It's only one." "You can walk an extra mile. " "You weigh in on Saturday...there's still time."

Equally important, I realized (yet again) that my mind generates and maintains the psychological uproar in my head surrounding my perpetual battle with losing weight. The battle exist right here in my head, BUT I also realized that each one of my little victories (listed below) helps to win part of the battle:

• wearing clothes in a smaller size
• receiving compliments about my appearance
  
• discovering new foods, like jicama
• introducing others to WW
• attending more than 16 meetings
• moving more
• finding a substitution for stress eating...blogging (sometimes I still choose the food)
• trying new recipes
• using my food scale
• making better choices
• knowing the points values of fast food
  

So in short, I recognize the fact that I MUST CELEBRATE EVERY SUCCESS! And yes, even the little victories make a BIG difference!

"Recognize and celebrate what you want to see more of!"

I originally planned to write some holiday related posts, but I wanted to work through my mini crisis by managing my feelings through writing. Well, I am off like a dirty shirt...my stomach is growling! Stay tuned for some light and more humorous holiday posts.

The NOT so ITSY BITSY spider clogged up the waterspout...

A few weeks ago a friend of mine, D, sent me an email expressing her weight loss frustrations. She reached her limit or "last straw" as I refer to it and vowed to make every effort to drop some pounds. D's email forced me to recall the last straw that brought me to WW.

October 2008

October 2009

That hideous spider picture symbolizes my "last straw" so to speak. I took one glance at this photo and shuddered in disgust. Look at my stomach. It appears as though I may give birth to a sac of baby spiders.

Why am I dressed like a spider you ask? In Texas, public schools celebrate Red Ribbon Week to encourage students to "Say no to drugs!" Fortunately for me last year's theme, Drugs Bug Me, fulfilled my lifelong dream of dressing as the Roly Poly Spider...not really.

Long story short, my class donned spider outfits and paraded around the school for the "Drugs Bug Me" rally. Just between you and me...if given a choice, I prefer ladybugs. Since red is my signature color and looks fabulous with my skin tone, a ladybug costume might have been more flattering. No, on second thought, me wearing a big red ladybug costume brings the image of the Kool-Aid dude to mind...