Wednesday, May 23, 2012

BootCamp Bulletin: Day 7: "Those Bitches Cheated!"


Y'all...

Yesterday's session of bootcamp called for an immediate blog post!  I left that session madder than a one-legged waitress at IHOP (no offense...it's a Texas thang). As a matter of fact, the title of this post hails directly from my outburst at bootcamp...more about that later. 

First....
Let me tell you something. If there's one thing I loathe, it's weight loss and workout CHEATERS! You know them. Weight loss cheaters look for the easy way out. Rather than put in the work they punk out & opt for the quickie weight loss methods: pills, starvation, fat burner crap sold on TV, etc.  
Hey weight loss cheaters...how about a tip? By cheating, you fail to gain the skill set necessary to obtain and maintain a healthy lifestyle.  YOU only cheat YOURSELF. And from me to you, consider this any early Christmas present...YES, the "easy way" guarantees weight loss; but, I assure you the weight comes back ten-fold. I speak from experience...imjussayin.   

Now, on to my bootcamp outburst...

Nothing chaps my hide more than workout CHEATERS! My mom always tells me not to worry about others, but my blood  boils when I bust my arse and the laziness of others flies under the radar undetected.

When I workout with a group my competitive side emerges, and I detest finishing last. Yes, I understand that I workout with others in better physical condition then me and sometimes my  valiant efforts produce a last place finish. That's understandable.

But the one thing I refuse to tolerate...CHEATIN B!TCHES who slide by to make themselves look good in front of the other participants and the instructor! But like I said before, "YOU only cheat YOURSELF!"

Long story short...
We were instructed to run 1 horse using trees as a guide. So basically, you run to the first tree and back to start. Then you run to the second tree and back to start...on to the third and back to start and so on and so on.

Sooooo, as I sprinted to the 5th of 6 trees, I appeared to be the "leader" of the slow group.  After I reached the 5th tree I touched the ground, then pivoted around to return to start.  As I ran, I heard nothing behind me...no huffing, no puffing, no bitching and complaining.

I thought to myself, surely those hookers reached the 5th tree by now. I craned my head around to look, and as sure as night is dark and day is light, those hoes bypassed returning to start and went straight from the 5th tree to the 6th!

I returned to start AS INSTRUCTED and made my way to the 6th tree BY MYSELF! When I reached the 6th tree I EXPLODED and SCREAMED at the instructor,
"THOSE B!TCHES CHEATED!"
As I neared the finish line those hoes had the audacity to cheer me on! Really!!? When I finally finished BY MYSELF LAST I might add, the following short conversation ensued:


The Hookers: WAY TO GO TRINA! WE CHEATED!
ME: * in my outside voice* YEAH I KNOW!!  I then proceed to give  them my I-SUGGEST-YOU-SHUT-UP-TALKIN-TO-ME...BITCH-PLEASE-LOOK.
Til this day, the source of my explosive rage baffles me. I surprised myself when I shouted, "THOSE B!TCHES CHEATED!  Maybe the heat spurred on my Tourettes outburst! SMH...

From now on, those hookers can cheat until their heart's content. You know what, Sophocles said it best...

"I would prefer to fail with honor than to win by cheating."

CHEAT ON B!TCHES!
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9 comments:

  1. Oh, I would have lost it. What's the point in showing up and doing something like that? Ugh! Good for you yelling at them! And even more for doing the right one! The tree running idea sounded good for a minute to me, until I realized out here I'd probably get eaten by something.

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  2. I hate when people cheat, especially in exercise. I used to go to a class where the teacher would tell us to do a certain number and everyone would be waiting on me because I was the ONLY ONE who would actually do the n number he said.

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  3. alas, Id have lost my MISFITMIND.

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  4. I would've done the SAME thing. Cheatin' bitches. When I first started CF there was a guy who was considered a total badass at the workouts. But I would see him short reps, or mis-count his laps, and not do full range of motion on stuff and it pissed me off. In the end it only hurt him but it made my blood boil. Feel good about yourself knowing you did 100%. Not much you can do about cheaters!

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  5. I hate hate hate cheaters....expecially workout cheaters...seriously wht is the point of even working out if you are going to cheat yourself??? ughh Do worry you will reap the rewards for being diligent and HONEST!

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  6. I have never commented on your blog posts, but I read them ALL. #inspiring!

    All I can say is...YOU ROCK, and don't worry about being last. Cheatin' beyotches usually get their just reward...the scale eventually tells on them.

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  7. Those bitches have been cheating since day 1. You're whining and complaining and on top of it cheating.. Why show up? Wait they didn't...

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  8. Booooo to the cheaters!!!!
    I'm a new follower of your blog and I have to say it's making me laugh!! Love it!

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  9. New Diet Taps into Pioneering Idea to Help Dieters Lose 15 Pounds within Just 21 Days!

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First off all, THANKS for stopping by and for those of you following...THANKS for following AND indulging my MADNESS. Please feel free to holla back or provide your 2¢. I WILL TRY to respond to ALL comments via email. AGAIN THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT!

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