That moment when you look on the floor and find the patches you ironed onto your jeans...

As a somewhat "thick woman," I tend to carry most of my weight in my lower region. Unfortunately, my thick thighs rub together resulting in many pairs of ruined jeans. Last month I ran across a pair of jeans I stopped wearing due to thigh damage. I thought to myself, rather than toss a pair of perfectly good pants, I need to think of a solution to repair the areas ruined by my thigh rubbing. And so I did...IRON-ON PATCHES. 

So last week, I tried out my great idea of iron-on patches. I arrived at work and went about my day. After breakfast, I noticed the edges of the patches lifting off my jeans and starting to roll up.  After a few more hours of walking the edges rolled more. I started to panic...just a little. I started walking slower, clinching my thighs together to keep the patches from rolling any further. I'm sure that was a sight to behold. At one point I tried to glue the patches to my pants with Elmer's glue.  FAIL.

Towards the end of the day, I walked out of my classroom into the pod to retrieve some papers off the printer. When what to my wondering eyes should appear...MY PATCHES lying listlessly on the floor. In one swift move I scooped them up and went about my business. Needless to say the damn patches failed to get the job done. Any suggestions???

HERE I GO AGAIN..

Sup, yo? What'd I miss??

Soooooooo...I discovered a whole new world on Instagram. A world of teachers who go gaga over Papermate FLAIR pens, planners, and pink pencil sharpeners. Who knew? O, by the way, I teach...Special Education. 

Anywho, one of the teachers I follow on IG, Bradley from @bradleys_learning_paradise, started a challenge on DietBet. I think I may join in. 

What have I got to lose...besides weight (Ha Ha. No pun intended). Besides, ringing in my 40th a few lbs. lighter...works for me. 

I need to sleep on it though...

SIGH...HERE I GO AGAIN!

Just waiting...

...waiting to hit rock bottom.

Greetings Me So Hongry blog readers, those still hanging around (all 3 of you), at this time I come to you contrite, ready to confess & acknowledge my sins. I gained 11 lbs (probably more), and many many many many maaaaaaaaaaaaaaany days, weeks, months, etc. have transpired since, my last workout. Sigh.

I  firmly resolve to perform my penance, and amend my wicked unhealthy ways...

...starting tomorrow.

I see and feel the weight creeping back on. For the most part my clothes still fit, but some days my clothes feel like this...


Yes, some days, I feel as though I am going to bust out of my clothes like David Banner as he transforms into the Hulk.

Sigh...

Like I said, just waiting to hit rock bottom...

When's the baby due?

New followers  please note...my weight loss trials and tribulations ebb and flow. If you just started following, please join me for an episode of ebbs already in progress.

So, when's the baby due? Me...knocked up?  Ummm...negative.  My post title refers to my stomach. Upon first glance, one might pose the question, "When's the baby due?' Moving on...

I started writing this post last week...a little Valentine's Day reflection. Just humor me. 

Many referred to yesterday as Valentine's Day, I simply called yesterday Thursday. I survived.  Yesterday proved challenging.  Why? I wasted energy dealing with some unexpected douche-baggery. This joker pursuing me attempted to play Jedi mind tricks...the entire day.

Jedi mind tricks: To manipulate someone's mind in the style of a Jedi.

Jedi Mind Trick #1:  So after a morning argument on the phone, I received the following text.

HIM: Send me your address to your job.

After thinking to myself, Okay Luke Skywalker...here we go with the Jedi mind tricks, I texted back the following:

This is my...Biyotch-Please-O-Here-We-Go Face 

ME: I'm not sure of the address. I'll have to send it when I get there." 

So when I got to work...I sent it. 

Now if you think I waited for that ass-clown to send me flowers, think again...just an example of the games people play. And Mommie Dearest said it best, "THIS AIN'T MY FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO (Profanity alert...push PLAY). 

In the past I knew and dealt with many-a-Luke Skywalker. But unlike the past, I now live by my new motto:

"Fool me once shame on YOU, Fool me twice... and you will get cut." 

Jedi Mind Trick #2: Fast forward to  around 6PM (VIA TEXT MESSAGE)

HIM: I bought you a gift, but I got busy.

HERE WE GO AGAIN!

 I wanted to text back, "Please cease from further insulting my intelligence."  By this point, I felt Mr. Skywalker robbed me of enough time and energy. Any further communication warranted little to no response, so I replied with this---> ME: :-) 

BUT, to play along with his game, I texted:

ME: "You want me to meet you to get the gift?" As I texted my response, I already knew the answer to my text.

HIM: *crickets*

Mmmmmm...hmmmmmm...

After receiving no response, I called. Lo and behold, his voice mail picked up...SURPRISE!  About 15 minutes later I received a text:

HIM: I'm selling a car. Five today.<---He owns a used car lot.

ME: *crickets*

THE END. 

Yes, THE END. You may be asking yourself, "What did you get Trina?  Tell us about the gift." WHAT GIFT?! THERE IS NO GIFT!!! Still waiting...

Let me tell you about THESE HOES...

READER BEWARE: DUE TO MY SOUR MOOD, I PLAN TO USE MANY PROFANE WORDS. 

So, let me tell you about THESE HOES...

The other day a person, who shall remain nameless, approached me and stated that another individual, who shall also remain nameless stated the following:

"Ms. Gaines looks like she gained some weight. Look at her stomach."

BITCH (~_~<---rolls eyes). No SHIT SHERLOCK! I did indeed gain some weight. When you become sedentary and cease making healthy choices, the weight creeps back on. I stopped working out months ago, and as far as eating healthy...anyway.
 
So the fact that THESE HOES felt the need to discuss my weight loss setbacks speaks volumes about their character. One word that comes to mind...INSECURITY. Insecure much?

You know what they say about people who make fun of others...they cannot find anything nice to say about themselves. Do I make fun of people? Yes, but they usually deserve it...like THESE HOES.

Had I known THESE HOES were staring so intently at me, I would have said, "Get a pad. Get a pen. Watch and take notes on a bad bitch (me) straight flexin."

bad bitch: Female who knows what she wants and knows exactly how to get it.

flexin: slang for showing off the STUFF you got. And the "STUFF" in this case, my level of bad bitchness.

There's a possibility the individuals in question my be reading this, but here's what I think about that:

I found the best quote online:

“One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit.” 

I still struggle with some insecurities, but not giving a shit...I got that on lock.

got it on lock: Having control of the situation. Being the best at SOMETHING. So in this case, the "SOMETHING" would be...not giving a shit. I'm the best at it.

So why blog about it if I don't give a shit? The audacity of THESE HOES boggles and blows my mind. Backstabbing HOES smile in your face...but spread gossip and misery behind your back.

This is dedicated to "THESE HOES" in my life and yours as well...

I AM BACK!

I AM BACK.

Whoa...before you get excited...slow your roll.

There's good news and bad news.

The bad news...
The old Trina returned. Unfortunately, a few bad habits crept back into my lifestyle. 

But the good news...
Instead of waiting to hit rock bottom,  I decided to pull myself up by the bootstraps (who says that), and get my sh*t together. BABY STEPS...ONE DAY AT A TIME.

I decided to try a new approach to weight loss, not Weight Watchers. What program did I decide to try? Glad you asked. At this time I am not at liberty to say. In due time. I would love to share BUT, I am not in the mood for the know-it-all-bloggers who always need to say something about everything.

Once I share, I can already tell you now, some blogger will stand on their proverbial soapbox and preach, and then I will in turn have to "bitch-slap" them with my rebuttal.

New blog update...
I plan to start my blog chronicling my collision with 40. I need help with choosing a title. I narrowed the the choices down to the following:

• Welcome to 40 Bitches!
• One Foot In the Grave
• F' You 40!
• F' Off 40!

Why all the profanity? Why not.  As I inch closer to 40, I could care less about what others think about me. So profanity, it is! The more the merrier. If you're one of those easily offended. Let me tell you now, this is NOT the blog for you. Get the stick out of your ass and then come back to this blog.

Glad to be blogging again...HOLLA!