Just waiting...

...waiting to hit rock bottom.

Greetings Me So Hongry blog readers, those still hanging around (all 3 of you), at this time I come to you contrite, ready to confess & acknowledge my sins. I gained 11 lbs (probably more), and many many many many maaaaaaaaaaaaaaany days, weeks, months, etc. have transpired since, my last workout. Sigh.

I  firmly resolve to perform my penance, and amend my wicked unhealthy ways...

...starting tomorrow.

I see and feel the weight creeping back on. For the most part my clothes still fit, but some days my clothes feel like this...


Yes, some days, I feel as though I am going to bust out of my clothes like David Banner as he transforms into the Hulk.

Sigh...

Like I said, just waiting to hit rock bottom...

When's the baby due?

New followers  please note...my weight loss trials and tribulations ebb and flow. If you just started following, please join me for an episode of ebbs already in progress.

So, when's the baby due? Me...knocked up?  Ummm...negative.  My post title refers to my stomach. Upon first glance, one might pose the question, "When's the baby due?' Moving on...

I started writing this post last week...a little Valentine's Day reflection. Just humor me. 

Many referred to yesterday as Valentine's Day, I simply called yesterday Thursday. I survived.  Yesterday proved challenging.  Why? I wasted energy dealing with some unexpected douche-baggery. This joker pursuing me attempted to play Jedi mind tricks...the entire day.

Jedi mind tricks: To manipulate someone's mind in the style of a Jedi.

Jedi Mind Trick #1:  So after a morning argument on the phone, I received the following text.

HIM: Send me your address to your job.

After thinking to myself, Okay Luke Skywalker...here we go with the Jedi mind tricks, I texted back the following:

This is my...Biyotch-Please-O-Here-We-Go Face 

ME: I'm not sure of the address. I'll have to send it when I get there." 

So when I got to work...I sent it. 

Now if you think I waited for that ass-clown to send me flowers, think again...just an example of the games people play. And Mommie Dearest said it best, "THIS AIN'T MY FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO (Profanity alert...push PLAY). 

In the past I knew and dealt with many-a-Luke Skywalker. But unlike the past, I now live by my new motto:

"Fool me once shame on YOU, Fool me twice... and you will get cut." 

Jedi Mind Trick #2: Fast forward to  around 6PM (VIA TEXT MESSAGE)

HIM: I bought you a gift, but I got busy.

HERE WE GO AGAIN!

 I wanted to text back, "Please cease from further insulting my intelligence."  By this point, I felt Mr. Skywalker robbed me of enough time and energy. Any further communication warranted little to no response, so I replied with this---> ME: :-) 

BUT, to play along with his game, I texted:

ME: "You want me to meet you to get the gift?" As I texted my response, I already knew the answer to my text.

HIM: *crickets*

Mmmmmm...hmmmmmm...

After receiving no response, I called. Lo and behold, his voice mail picked up...SURPRISE!  About 15 minutes later I received a text:

HIM: I'm selling a car. Five today.<---He owns a used car lot.

ME: *crickets*

THE END. 

Yes, THE END. You may be asking yourself, "What did you get Trina?  Tell us about the gift." WHAT GIFT?! THERE IS NO GIFT!!! Still waiting...

Let me tell you about THESE HOES...

READER BEWARE: DUE TO MY SOUR MOOD, I PLAN TO USE MANY PROFANE WORDS. 

So, let me tell you about THESE HOES...

The other day a person, who shall remain nameless, approached me and stated that another individual, who shall also remain nameless stated the following:

"Ms. Gaines looks like she gained some weight. Look at her stomach."

BITCH (~_~<---rolls eyes). No SHIT SHERLOCK! I did indeed gain some weight. When you become sedentary and cease making healthy choices, the weight creeps back on. I stopped working out months ago, and as far as eating healthy...anyway.
 
So the fact that THESE HOES felt the need to discuss my weight loss setbacks speaks volumes about their character. One word that comes to mind...INSECURITY. Insecure much?

You know what they say about people who make fun of others...they cannot find anything nice to say about themselves. Do I make fun of people? Yes, but they usually deserve it...like THESE HOES.

Had I known THESE HOES were staring so intently at me, I would have said, "Get a pad. Get a pen. Watch and take notes on a bad bitch (me) straight flexin."

bad bitch: Female who knows what she wants and knows exactly how to get it.

flexin: slang for showing off the STUFF you got. And the "STUFF" in this case, my level of bad bitchness.

There's a possibility the individuals in question my be reading this, but here's what I think about that:

I found the best quote online:

“One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit.” 

I still struggle with some insecurities, but not giving a shit...I got that on lock.

got it on lock: Having control of the situation. Being the best at SOMETHING. So in this case, the "SOMETHING" would be...not giving a shit. I'm the best at it.

So why blog about it if I don't give a shit? The audacity of THESE HOES boggles and blows my mind. Backstabbing HOES smile in your face...but spread gossip and misery behind your back.

This is dedicated to "THESE HOES" in my life and yours as well...

I AM BACK!

I AM BACK.

Whoa...before you get excited...slow your roll.

There's good news and bad news.

The bad news...
The old Trina returned. Unfortunately, a few bad habits crept back into my lifestyle. 

But the good news...
Instead of waiting to hit rock bottom,  I decided to pull myself up by the bootstraps (who says that), and get my sh*t together. BABY STEPS...ONE DAY AT A TIME.

I decided to try a new approach to weight loss, not Weight Watchers. What program did I decide to try? Glad you asked. At this time I am not at liberty to say. In due time. I would love to share BUT, I am not in the mood for the know-it-all-bloggers who always need to say something about everything.

Once I share, I can already tell you now, some blogger will stand on their proverbial soapbox and preach, and then I will in turn have to "bitch-slap" them with my rebuttal.

New blog update...
I plan to start my blog chronicling my collision with 40. I need help with choosing a title. I narrowed the the choices down to the following:

• Welcome to 40 Bitches!
• One Foot In the Grave
• F' You 40!
• F' Off 40!

Why all the profanity? Why not.  As I inch closer to 40, I could care less about what others think about me. So profanity, it is! The more the merrier. If you're one of those easily offended. Let me tell you now, this is NOT the blog for you. Get the stick out of your ass and then come back to this blog.

Glad to be blogging again...HOLLA!

Silence for Sandy Hook

*sniff* *sniff* You smell that?

I smell a comeback. And a challenge...maybe. 

Sorry but....

After much contemplation...

It is with a heavy heart that I announce Ah Me So Hongry has decided to say goodbye and take an indefinite blog hiatus...



I plan to return, so stay tuned for more Me So Hongry antics sometime in the near future.

BUT, I am mulling over a few ideas for a new blog...

• For my first blog idea, I need to decide on the title, either Welcome to 40 Bitches! or One Foot In the Grave. This blog will chronicle my life as I FREAK OUT about turning 40.

OR

• Untitled Special Education Blog highlighting my classroom successes and challenges.

Right this very moment, I seem to be leaning toward the blog exploiting my head-on collision with 40. There's more opportunity to use profanity and my off color humor. 

Well, folks Me So Hongry bids you adieu. In the meantime check out some of my older post. HOLLA HOOKAS

DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!

Survival of the Fittest

Not quite the fittest, but I survived my first week back to work. Next Tuesday the students return and my room still needs some major  tweaking.  Since I invested so much time and moolah in my previous classroom aesthetics, I decided to keep my western theme. YEEHAW Y'ALL! 

Just a little preview...

Soooooo....I think I may start a educational blog spotlighting my adventures in teaching. Maybe...IDK.

I would love to blog more, but I'm tireder than a one-legged man at an a$$ kicking contest...sweet dreams peeps.  

A day late and a dollar short...

As usual, I missed Kenli's Friend Makin' Monday. When I read yesterday's topic, Inappropriate Questions, I thought to myself...YAAASSS, an opportunity for inappropriateness (something I excel at). So, let's get this party started! FMM veterans, you know the drill. FMM newbies, here's the deal: 

• Answer this week's questions on your own blog.
• Add your link to the comment  section of Kenli's blog, All the Weigh.
• Invite your blog readers to participate and add their link too.

Inappropriate Questions:

1. Will you vote in the upcoming presidential elections? 
Like I tell my kids and like my momma used to tell me, "People died so I could have the right to vote." So, YES. I plan to vote! Most of the time, I refrain from discussing politics. People can get downright ignorant. And far be it from me to end a political conversation with a karate chop to YOUR trachea because you tried to force YOUR political agenda on ME!

2. Do you say curse words? Like a trucker, but only with certain associates. Word to the wise, when using profanity, know your audience. I try not to curse on my posts, but sometimes the sitch calls for it...know what I mean? For instance, remember the time I got pissed at boot camp? Profanity...VERY NECESSARY!

3.Have you ever kissed a stranger? Hmmmm...define stranger...

4.If you could choose to meet only one fellow blogger in person right now, who would you choose?  TJ from TJ's Test Kitchen. Her food always looks resplendent. 

5.What is the most inappropriate pick up line anyone has ever used on you?  Okay, so...as most of you know, my name is Trina. Well, there's this rapper named Trina and her debut album is titled, Da Baddest Bitch. After the release of her debut album she became known as "Da Baddest Bitch." So one night while out with friends this dude approaches me:

DUDE: Hey
Me: Hey
DUDE: Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda
Me: *pretends to be slightly interested*
DUDE: So what's your name?
Me: Trina
DUDE: Oh, so you the "Da Baddest Bitch" huh?
Me: O_o

6. Do you sing in the shower? Yes, the acoustics in my bathroom gives my voice an amazing tonal quality. Singing outside the bathroom, now that's a different story. Inside the shower,  I sound like Beyonce. But outside, I sound like a cat who's tail has just been rocked on with a rocking chair. 

7. How often do you get drunk? Not often enough.

8. Have you ever been fired from a job? Yes. Moving on...

9. Were you popular in high school? I guess. I cheered in high school for 3 years. 

Back in the day cheerleader tryouts consisted of campaigning, and auditioning  in front of the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY! The cheerleaders were selected by popular vote. Nowadays prospective cheerleaders audition in front of a small committee who then selects the cheerleaders. 

10. Who is your current celebrity crush?

WENTWORTH MILLER 

from PRISON BREAK (on Netflix)!!

and...

TAYLOR KITSCH 

from SAVAGES & FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS...also on Netflix.

Mmmmm...mmmmm...mmmm. I'd like to make a Trina sandwich with those two. Now it's your turn for some inappropriateness! Don't forget to link up! 

Grabbing the bull by the BALLS...

Since I failed to win the lottery or marry into money, tomorrow I return to work after a much deserved restful summer hiatus! YES, I plan to marry for wealth, not love. Pssshh...love is overrated. Been there, done that...got the shirt, the mug, the pen, the book, the hat, the bumper sticker, AND wrote the script for the Lifetime Movie. 

Thanks to my impending 40th birthday next year, I spent the majority of my summer internally wrestling with my demons. At the forefront...weight loss *heavy sigh*. After my MANY MANY episodes of Internal Dialogue Theater I came to a realization.

I am in the midst of a  MIDLIFE CRISIS, aka midlife transition. And I also just realized I do not know how to spell midst...thank you spell check.

I admit I spiraled out of control a few times this summer and engaged in some audacious behaviors like...well never mind that.  Anyway, in an attempt to rein in the madness I decided to turn this so called "crisis" into an opportunity. An opportunity to make some life-changing decisions and grab the bull by the balls. Or is it...grab the bull by the horns. Either way, I'm grabbing something...

So, life changing decision number #1, GET BACK IN THE WEIGHT LOSS GAME before I end up like THAT...AGAIN!

So, now what? 

First and foremost, I must stop succumbing to the F**k IT Fallout Effect! I falter one time, and say to myself, "F**k it! I quit. I'll pick up where I left off...tomorrow." And the fallout, one bad behavior snowballs into an avalanche of F**k its! And the next thing I know, I find myself eating sour gummy worms for dinner...true story.

Instead of falling prey to the F**k It Fallout Effect, I need to WORK ON the following:

• STOP. STOP and think. STOP criticizing myself.  STOP and realize I made a faux pas. It happens to everyone.

• ASK. Ask myself, what did I learn from my faux pas and what do I need to do differently to make my healthy lifestyle change WORK?

• FOCUS. This weight loss undertaking requires dedication and commitment. Consequently, I need to stay focused and not surrender at the first sign of trouble.

• EXONERATE. The most important aspect of any weight loss plan, forgiveness. I need to remember, in the event of a faux pas, I MUST exonerate myself, not dwell on my mistake(s), and KEEP IT MOVING.

Check it out I created my own acronym...SAFE. 

• STOP
• ASK
• FOCUS
• EXONERATE

O_o I just glanced at the clock and it read 1:48 AM. I wholeheartedly appreciate my summers off, but as summer progresses, I fall into a routine of languidness which drastically alters my schedule. As a result, I stay up until the break of dawn and sleep til noon or later. I wonder if any other teacher suffer from Summers-Off-Screwed-Up-Sleeping-Pattern Syndrome.

I digressed. Back to the subject at hand...

Damn grabbing the bull by the horns. BALLS. I choose BALLS...more aggressive. And I need to be MORE aggressive in my ATTACK this time. My 40th birthday approaches and I WILL BE...

FORTY, FIERCE & FABULOUS!

Did you read my last post? FYI, It's pretty cool.