#GIRLBYE

Greetings! I'm still FAT. BYE. HA HA! 

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaack Biiiiiiiitcheeeeees!

It took me almost two hours to log into this beeyotch. I thought my blog perished into the blog abyss with the rest of those absentee bloggers in my blog roll. My nerves right now... SHOT.TO. HELL. Let's catch up manana. I just can't right now. I can't even.... HAA HAA!

That moment when you look on the floor and find the patches you ironed onto your jeans...

As a somewhat "thick woman," I tend to carry most of my weight in my lower region. Unfortunately, my thick thighs rub together resulting in many pairs of ruined jeans. Last month I ran across a pair of jeans I stopped wearing due to thigh damage. I thought to myself, rather than toss a pair of perfectly good pants, I need to think of a solution to repair the areas ruined by my thigh rubbing. And so I did...IRON-ON PATCHES. 

So last week, I tried out my great idea of iron-on patches. I arrived at work and went about my day. After breakfast, I noticed the edges of the patches lifting off my jeans and starting to roll up.  After a few more hours of walking the edges rolled more. I started to panic...just a little. I started walking slower, clinching my thighs together to keep the patches from rolling any further. I'm sure that was a sight to behold. At one point I tried to glue the patches to my pants with Elmer's glue.  FAIL.

Towards the end of the day, I walked out of my classroom into the pod to retrieve some papers off the printer. When what to my wondering eyes should appear...MY PATCHES lying listlessly on the floor. In one swift move I scooped them up and went about my business. Needless to say the damn patches failed to get the job done. Any suggestions???

HERE I GO AGAIN..

Sup, yo? What'd I miss??

Soooooooo...I discovered a whole new world on Instagram. A world of teachers who go gaga over Papermate FLAIR pens, planners, and pink pencil sharpeners. Who knew? O, by the way, I teach...Special Education. 

Anywho, one of the teachers I follow on IG, Bradley from @bradleys_learning_paradise, started a challenge on DietBet. I think I may join in. 

What have I got to lose...besides weight (Ha Ha. No pun intended). Besides, ringing in my 40th a few lbs. lighter...works for me. 

I need to sleep on it though...

SIGH...HERE I GO AGAIN!

Just waiting...

...waiting to hit rock bottom.

Greetings Me So Hongry blog readers, those still hanging around (all 3 of you), at this time I come to you contrite, ready to confess & acknowledge my sins. I gained 11 lbs (probably more), and many many many many maaaaaaaaaaaaaaany days, weeks, months, etc. have transpired since, my last workout. Sigh.

I  firmly resolve to perform my penance, and amend my wicked unhealthy ways...

...starting tomorrow.

I see and feel the weight creeping back on. For the most part my clothes still fit, but some days my clothes feel like this...


Yes, some days, I feel as though I am going to bust out of my clothes like David Banner as he transforms into the Hulk.

Sigh...

Like I said, just waiting to hit rock bottom...

When's the baby due?

New followers  please note...my weight loss trials and tribulations ebb and flow. If you just started following, please join me for an episode of ebbs already in progress.

So, when's the baby due? Me...knocked up?  Ummm...negative.  My post title refers to my stomach. Upon first glance, one might pose the question, "When's the baby due?' Moving on...

I started writing this post last week...a little Valentine's Day reflection. Just humor me. 

Many referred to yesterday as Valentine's Day, I simply called yesterday Thursday. I survived.  Yesterday proved challenging.  Why? I wasted energy dealing with some unexpected douche-baggery. This joker pursuing me attempted to play Jedi mind tricks...the entire day.

Jedi mind tricks: To manipulate someone's mind in the style of a Jedi.

Jedi Mind Trick #1:  So after a morning argument on the phone, I received the following text.

HIM: Send me your address to your job.

After thinking to myself, Okay Luke Skywalker...here we go with the Jedi mind tricks, I texted back the following:

This is my...Biyotch-Please-O-Here-We-Go Face 

ME: I'm not sure of the address. I'll have to send it when I get there." 

So when I got to work...I sent it. 

Now if you think I waited for that ass-clown to send me flowers, think again...just an example of the games people play. And Mommie Dearest said it best, "THIS AIN'T MY FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO (Profanity alert...push PLAY). 

In the past I knew and dealt with many-a-Luke Skywalker. But unlike the past, I now live by my new motto:

"Fool me once shame on YOU, Fool me twice... and you will get cut." 

Jedi Mind Trick #2: Fast forward to  around 6PM (VIA TEXT MESSAGE)

HIM: I bought you a gift, but I got busy.

HERE WE GO AGAIN!

 I wanted to text back, "Please cease from further insulting my intelligence."  By this point, I felt Mr. Skywalker robbed me of enough time and energy. Any further communication warranted little to no response, so I replied with this---> ME: :-) 

BUT, to play along with his game, I texted:

ME: "You want me to meet you to get the gift?" As I texted my response, I already knew the answer to my text.

HIM: *crickets*

Mmmmmm...hmmmmmm...

After receiving no response, I called. Lo and behold, his voice mail picked up...SURPRISE!  About 15 minutes later I received a text:

HIM: I'm selling a car. Five today.<---He owns a used car lot.

ME: *crickets*

THE END. 

Yes, THE END. You may be asking yourself, "What did you get Trina?  Tell us about the gift." WHAT GIFT?! THERE IS NO GIFT!!! Still waiting...

Let me tell you about THESE HOES...

READER BEWARE: DUE TO MY SOUR MOOD, I PLAN TO USE MANY PROFANE WORDS. 

So, let me tell you about THESE HOES...

The other day a person, who shall remain nameless, approached me and stated that another individual, who shall also remain nameless stated the following:

"Ms. Gaines looks like she gained some weight. Look at her stomach."

BITCH (~_~<---rolls eyes). No SHIT SHERLOCK! I did indeed gain some weight. When you become sedentary and cease making healthy choices, the weight creeps back on. I stopped working out months ago, and as far as eating healthy...anyway.
 
So the fact that THESE HOES felt the need to discuss my weight loss setbacks speaks volumes about their character. One word that comes to mind...INSECURITY. Insecure much?

You know what they say about people who make fun of others...they cannot find anything nice to say about themselves. Do I make fun of people? Yes, but they usually deserve it...like THESE HOES.

Had I known THESE HOES were staring so intently at me, I would have said, "Get a pad. Get a pen. Watch and take notes on a bad bitch (me) straight flexin."

bad bitch: Female who knows what she wants and knows exactly how to get it.

flexin: slang for showing off the STUFF you got. And the "STUFF" in this case, my level of bad bitchness.

There's a possibility the individuals in question my be reading this, but here's what I think about that:

I found the best quote online:

“One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit.” 

I still struggle with some insecurities, but not giving a shit...I got that on lock.

got it on lock: Having control of the situation. Being the best at SOMETHING. So in this case, the "SOMETHING" would be...not giving a shit. I'm the best at it.

So why blog about it if I don't give a shit? The audacity of THESE HOES boggles and blows my mind. Backstabbing HOES smile in your face...but spread gossip and misery behind your back.

This is dedicated to "THESE HOES" in my life and yours as well...

I AM BACK!

I AM BACK.

Whoa...before you get excited...slow your roll.

There's good news and bad news.

The bad news...
The old Trina returned. Unfortunately, a few bad habits crept back into my lifestyle. 

But the good news...
Instead of waiting to hit rock bottom,  I decided to pull myself up by the bootstraps (who says that), and get my sh*t together. BABY STEPS...ONE DAY AT A TIME.

I decided to try a new approach to weight loss, not Weight Watchers. What program did I decide to try? Glad you asked. At this time I am not at liberty to say. In due time. I would love to share BUT, I am not in the mood for the know-it-all-bloggers who always need to say something about everything.

Once I share, I can already tell you now, some blogger will stand on their proverbial soapbox and preach, and then I will in turn have to "bitch-slap" them with my rebuttal.

New blog update...
I plan to start my blog chronicling my collision with 40. I need help with choosing a title. I narrowed the the choices down to the following:

• Welcome to 40 Bitches!
• One Foot In the Grave
• F' You 40!
• F' Off 40!

Why all the profanity? Why not.  As I inch closer to 40, I could care less about what others think about me. So profanity, it is! The more the merrier. If you're one of those easily offended. Let me tell you now, this is NOT the blog for you. Get the stick out of your ass and then come back to this blog.

Glad to be blogging again...HOLLA!

Silence for Sandy Hook

*sniff* *sniff* You smell that?

I smell a comeback. And a challenge...maybe. 

Sorry but....

After much contemplation...

It is with a heavy heart that I announce Ah Me So Hongry has decided to say goodbye and take an indefinite blog hiatus...



I plan to return, so stay tuned for more Me So Hongry antics sometime in the near future.

BUT, I am mulling over a few ideas for a new blog...

• For my first blog idea, I need to decide on the title, either Welcome to 40 Bitches! or One Foot In the Grave. This blog will chronicle my life as I FREAK OUT about turning 40.

OR

• Untitled Special Education Blog highlighting my classroom successes and challenges.

Right this very moment, I seem to be leaning toward the blog exploiting my head-on collision with 40. There's more opportunity to use profanity and my off color humor. 

Well, folks Me So Hongry bids you adieu. In the meantime check out some of my older post. HOLLA HOOKAS

DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!

Survival of the Fittest

Not quite the fittest, but I survived my first week back to work. Next Tuesday the students return and my room still needs some major  tweaking.  Since I invested so much time and moolah in my previous classroom aesthetics, I decided to keep my western theme. YEEHAW Y'ALL! 

Just a little preview...

Soooooo....I think I may start a educational blog spotlighting my adventures in teaching. Maybe...IDK.

I would love to blog more, but I'm tireder than a one-legged man at an a$$ kicking contest...sweet dreams peeps.  

A day late and a dollar short...

As usual, I missed Kenli's Friend Makin' Monday. When I read yesterday's topic, Inappropriate Questions, I thought to myself...YAAASSS, an opportunity for inappropriateness (something I excel at). So, let's get this party started! FMM veterans, you know the drill. FMM newbies, here's the deal: 

• Answer this week's questions on your own blog.
• Add your link to the comment  section of Kenli's blog, All the Weigh.
• Invite your blog readers to participate and add their link too.

Inappropriate Questions:

1. Will you vote in the upcoming presidential elections? 
Like I tell my kids and like my momma used to tell me, "People died so I could have the right to vote." So, YES. I plan to vote! Most of the time, I refrain from discussing politics. People can get downright ignorant. And far be it from me to end a political conversation with a karate chop to YOUR trachea because you tried to force YOUR political agenda on ME!

2. Do you say curse words? Like a trucker, but only with certain associates. Word to the wise, when using profanity, know your audience. I try not to curse on my posts, but sometimes the sitch calls for it...know what I mean? For instance, remember the time I got pissed at boot camp? Profanity...VERY NECESSARY!

3.Have you ever kissed a stranger? Hmmmm...define stranger...

4.If you could choose to meet only one fellow blogger in person right now, who would you choose?  TJ from TJ's Test Kitchen. Her food always looks resplendent. 

5.What is the most inappropriate pick up line anyone has ever used on you?  Okay, so...as most of you know, my name is Trina. Well, there's this rapper named Trina and her debut album is titled, Da Baddest Bitch. After the release of her debut album she became known as "Da Baddest Bitch." So one night while out with friends this dude approaches me:

DUDE: Hey
Me: Hey
DUDE: Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda
Me: *pretends to be slightly interested*
DUDE: So what's your name?
Me: Trina
DUDE: Oh, so you the "Da Baddest Bitch" huh?
Me: O_o

6. Do you sing in the shower? Yes, the acoustics in my bathroom gives my voice an amazing tonal quality. Singing outside the bathroom, now that's a different story. Inside the shower,  I sound like Beyonce. But outside, I sound like a cat who's tail has just been rocked on with a rocking chair. 

7. How often do you get drunk? Not often enough.

8. Have you ever been fired from a job? Yes. Moving on...

9. Were you popular in high school? I guess. I cheered in high school for 3 years. 

Back in the day cheerleader tryouts consisted of campaigning, and auditioning  in front of the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY! The cheerleaders were selected by popular vote. Nowadays prospective cheerleaders audition in front of a small committee who then selects the cheerleaders. 

10. Who is your current celebrity crush?

WENTWORTH MILLER 

from PRISON BREAK (on Netflix)!!

and...

TAYLOR KITSCH 

from SAVAGES & FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS...also on Netflix.

Mmmmm...mmmmm...mmmm. I'd like to make a Trina sandwich with those two. Now it's your turn for some inappropriateness! Don't forget to link up! 

Grabbing the bull by the BALLS...

Since I failed to win the lottery or marry into money, tomorrow I return to work after a much deserved restful summer hiatus! YES, I plan to marry for wealth, not love. Pssshh...love is overrated. Been there, done that...got the shirt, the mug, the pen, the book, the hat, the bumper sticker, AND wrote the script for the Lifetime Movie. 

Thanks to my impending 40th birthday next year, I spent the majority of my summer internally wrestling with my demons. At the forefront...weight loss *heavy sigh*. After my MANY MANY episodes of Internal Dialogue Theater I came to a realization.

I am in the midst of a  MIDLIFE CRISIS, aka midlife transition. And I also just realized I do not know how to spell midst...thank you spell check.

I admit I spiraled out of control a few times this summer and engaged in some audacious behaviors like...well never mind that.  Anyway, in an attempt to rein in the madness I decided to turn this so called "crisis" into an opportunity. An opportunity to make some life-changing decisions and grab the bull by the balls. Or is it...grab the bull by the horns. Either way, I'm grabbing something...

So, life changing decision number #1, GET BACK IN THE WEIGHT LOSS GAME before I end up like THAT...AGAIN!

So, now what? 

First and foremost, I must stop succumbing to the F**k IT Fallout Effect! I falter one time, and say to myself, "F**k it! I quit. I'll pick up where I left off...tomorrow." And the fallout, one bad behavior snowballs into an avalanche of F**k its! And the next thing I know, I find myself eating sour gummy worms for dinner...true story.

Instead of falling prey to the F**k It Fallout Effect, I need to WORK ON the following:

• STOP. STOP and think. STOP criticizing myself.  STOP and realize I made a faux pas. It happens to everyone.

• ASK. Ask myself, what did I learn from my faux pas and what do I need to do differently to make my healthy lifestyle change WORK?

• FOCUS. This weight loss undertaking requires dedication and commitment. Consequently, I need to stay focused and not surrender at the first sign of trouble.

• EXONERATE. The most important aspect of any weight loss plan, forgiveness. I need to remember, in the event of a faux pas, I MUST exonerate myself, not dwell on my mistake(s), and KEEP IT MOVING.

Check it out I created my own acronym...SAFE. 

• STOP
• ASK
• FOCUS
• EXONERATE

O_o I just glanced at the clock and it read 1:48 AM. I wholeheartedly appreciate my summers off, but as summer progresses, I fall into a routine of languidness which drastically alters my schedule. As a result, I stay up until the break of dawn and sleep til noon or later. I wonder if any other teacher suffer from Summers-Off-Screwed-Up-Sleeping-Pattern Syndrome.

I digressed. Back to the subject at hand...

Damn grabbing the bull by the horns. BALLS. I choose BALLS...more aggressive. And I need to be MORE aggressive in my ATTACK this time. My 40th birthday approaches and I WILL BE...

FORTY, FIERCE & FABULOUS!

Did you read my last post? FYI, It's pretty cool.

Steppin Up!

BOOM!! Wassup Ya'll?



LOL! So, Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassuuuuuuuuuuuup? Long time no blog. Tell me, how's goes it with YOUR on-going weight loss tug-o-war? Me comci, comca. Hitting ya with a lil francais. I took French in high school...not very useful in Texas.

Sooooooooooooo...I half-assed blogged last week...better than nothing. Right?

This summer I decided to take a blog break. Obviously.  I needed a break for two reasons:

Number 1...My weight loss efforts appear to be stalled out. Not sure when my brain, motivation, and stomach plan to come on-line and work in concert together. I get tired of blogging about failing and who enjoys attending WHINE & cheese parties? Not me. So, rather than whine about my struggle or blog about mundane crap  I decided to take a break.

Number 2...I also decided to use all of my extra time this summer to pimp my kids. For you new followers, you may not know this, but...I am the mother of two dance BEASTS! See for yourself.

You can call ME the ORIGINAL DANCE MOM! As their "MOM-ager" I scout for opportunities to encourage them to grow as dancers. Well, my scouting efforts payed off. While stalking people on Facebook I ran across a post from a local Houston dance studio...SoReal Studio.

Long story short, SUMMIT entertainment chose  SoReal Studio to host a flash mob for the movie, STEP UP REVOLUTION! My boy's auditioned and and got the gig! Check out the movie trailer for the latest installments of the STEP UP franchise!

The Flash Mob turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences EVER for my boys, as well as myself. The boys met one of their dance idols, world renowned, So You Think You Can Dance Emmy-nominated choreographer...Travis Wall.

HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT????!!!

I think meeting Travis Wall excited ME more than the boys. Of course they played it cool. Me, not so cool. I stalked him ALL DAY like a TMZ reporter. I think I embarrassed my kids, but who cares y'all...TRAVIS WALL! 

They also met Misha Gabriel, one the stars from the movie.

And here they are with Channing Cooke from  So You Think You Can Dance.

In a matter of days the boys learned the flash mob choreography and perfected the number under the tutelage of Travis and Channing. Travis flew to Houston the day of the flash mob and cleaned the piece. While Travis worked with the dancers, the local news station stopped by and featured the flash mob story TWICE.

Of course I informed EVERYBODY...friends, family, haters, etc! I sent out a mass text telling everyone to tune in to FOX news. After the story aired my phone BLEW UP with text messages and Facebook comments about the flash mob!

Well without further adieu...the STEP UP REVOLUTION FLASH MOB! The first video features the kiddos at practice and the 2nd video features the dancers performing the flash mob in the 200 degree Houston weather.

For their efforts, SUMMIT Studios rewarded the dancers with a special 3-D advanced screening of the movie:-)

...GOOD TIMES! THE HIGHLIGHT OF THEIR OUR SUMMER!

Ready Or Not...I'm not.

I quit...everything. Ask me about the last time I worked out? G'Head...ask? Yeah....I cannot remember O_o  Ask me about my diet. No don't do that...you do not want to know. With amount of slacking achieved this summer I win the GOLD medal in the LAZY OLYMPICS.

Bedroom Habits...

When you read the title I bet you thought..O here we go, another 50 Shades of Grey post! Nope, I covered that topic on my last post.  Actually, the title refers to this weeks Friends Makin' Monday topic. For you FMM vets, you know what to do. For you newbies, please take the time to answer the questions on your blog and then add your link to the comments section of Kenlie's blog All the Weigh.

1. Do you set an alarm clock? If so, for what time?
Yes, I set an alarm clock.  Monday through Friday I set my alarm  for 5:45 AM, 6:03 AM, and 6:15 AM. The 5:45 AM alert serves as my DAMN ALREADY alarm. The 6:03 AM alert serves as my you betta get yo butt up alarm. And I usually hit snooze on the 6:15 alarm which means I wake up at 6:25 which also means I run around like a nut trying to get out the door to beat the traffic!

2. How many hours of sleep do you get on average a night?
On average, I get about 6 hours, sometimes 5 I know. I know. My lack of sleep hinders my weight loss efforts.

3. Do you bring your laptop to bed?
No, but I do bring my iPad. As of late I decided to take up reading again; so, I read using the Nook app. Sometimes I use my iPad to watch Netflix or HBOGO.

4. How many pillows do you require to sleep?
Just 1. Sometimes I swat the pillows in my sleep and they all end up on the floor.

5. Do you sleep with socks on?
In the winter, yes.

6.  How often do you change the sheets?
Usually once a week, unless there's some 50 shades action  goin on...lol...jk.

7. Do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes I do. On occasion I write my dreams down in my journal. The other day I experienced the dream of all dreams. At the most climatic moment my alarm sounds and I wake up screaming, "Nooooooooooooooo!" At this time I am not at liberty to share the specifics. Reading 50 Shades before going to bed...not the best idea...lol O_o

8. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
ALL sides. One morning my son says, "Dang! You sleep crazy! I walked into your room to ask you something and you were laid across the middle of the bed with your feet hanging off the side." True story. I fell asleep reading.

9. How often do you take naps?
As often as I can. If napping was an Olympic sport I would medal...GOLD! During the week I take 15 to 30 minute power naps before working out. On the weekend I take long naps or a series of short naps.

10. Do you sleep soundly?
Yes  with the assistance of a vino nightcap. I usually sleep soundly, but for some strange reason I wake up once during the night around 3:25 AM, but I fall right back asleep. Weird.

Your turn! Time to share your bedroom habits.

*Batteries not incuded...

I know I am supposed to provide y'all with motivation, but I need a dose of motivation myself. The last past two weeks proved to be a struggle. As some of you know I returned to Weight Watchers and my first weigh in showed a loss of .6. Hold your applause. That small loss ain't nothing to write home about; I hardly tracked my food.

On a positive note I worked out; so, maybe the workout contributed to the loss. Needless to say, I am undeserving of the loss. I pray my summer hiatus gives me the kick in the junk I need to get myself together.

Soooooo, in a previous post I mentioned a couple of guilty pleasures robbing me of my time, thus depriving you of my capricious posts.


Guilty pleasure #1: Weeds...the show.
When the show originally aired several years ago I watched a couple episodes of the first season, but for what ever reason...I stopped. Well thanks to Netflix, I recently finished watching seasons 1-6. And let me tell you; Weeds kept me rolling in stitches and at the edge of my seat. I recommend Weeds for those craving an escape from a long brutal day.

Guilty Pleasure #2:

Yaaaaaasssss! The 50 Shades Trilogy a.k.a. "Mommy Porn!"  I breezed through all 3 books in a week and a half! Prior to the 50 Shades hype my mom mentioned the trilogy. I looked into it, but at that time the Black Dagger Brotherhood Series commanded my attention, just as porny as the Shades Trilogy. 

Long story short, a co-worker mentioned the series and texted me a page from the book.  When I read that page, my eyes bucked out of my head and my mouth opened wide enough to catch a few flies and anything else flying by.

So needless to say, after reading the texted page I immediately purchased the book. Hey...DON'T JUDGE! I needed to investigate the Shades hype to see the reason behind the uproar.

Well my bloggy buddies, after completing the trilogy I informed for friend (the one who sent the text) and the following convo ensued:

Me: GIRL! I FINISHED THE TRILOGY!!!

Friend: WHAT! ALREADY!!

Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

Friend: NOT ME! I want to savor the books. *Then she looks off into the horizon with a dreamy sexed up look on her face...lol* I read a little. Then I read a little more. THEN I read over the parts I just read and THEN...

"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

ME: Bwahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahah...YOU ARE INSANE! :-D Toooo bad batteries didn't come with the book!! Haaaa hahahaa! BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED!

Do I need to explain the Bzzzzz? You guys can figure it out! But if you happen to be slow on the uptake...the "Bzzzz" represents B.O.B., here battery operated boyfriend.  HA HA HA! I <3 my friend! I refuse to reveal her name in order to keep her identity a secret. I am more than confident that she prefers not to be outed as the owner of an arsenal of adult pleasure paraphernalia:-)

Did you see the 50 Shades parody on SNL?

Click to see parody!

So what's the hype? Well the book basically serves as a how to BDSM manual; so, if that floats your boat, take notes as you read. I am not saying I did that. I'm just making a suggestion...that's all I'm saying...It's just a suggestion. Trying to help YOU out. What kind of blogger would I be if I did not help people out? Imjussayin...

I love the "Hey Girl" thingies!

This steamy erotic trilogy enthralled me, and  a few times I found my self so engrossed I needed to wipe the drool forming at the corners of my mouth. True story...while sitting at home alone reading book two, enjoying the tranquility of some peace & quiet; the pages of the book bewitched me. I shut the world out and remained transfixed on the words. Suddenly, my phone rang and I let out a little nervous scream and nearly jumped out of my skin.

Sometimes ready the trilogy made me jumpy. I felt like I needed to receive permission to read it or I would get in trouble if someone caught me.

Now with all that being said...do not purchase the book in hopes that it's some literary masterpiece. It's soft core porn y'all...smut. A few people I mentioned the book to expressed their disappointment with the author's writing. I never promised the next Anna Karenina, and  E. L. James is the furthest thing from Tolstoy. Check out the trilogy and tell me what you think.

After I finished reading the books I experienced a twinge of disappointment that the trilogy ended. But I am excited to inform you...there's going to be a movie y'all!! Who should play Christian? Team Hemsworth!!!

Have you read the trilogy? Did you enjoy it? What are you reading now?

COUNTDOWN!

It seems as though every school district in the greater Houston area, EXCEPT PASADENA ISD (my employer), ended last week! As I worked today, a majority of my teacher friends basked in the summer vacay ambiance.  


Soooo...today I begin my countdown...FOUR DAYS & counting till SUMMER VACAY!!  Speaking of countdown, I <3 the song Countdown by my girl, B. This little ditty shall serve as my theme song for the week! And my favorite part...

"Me and my boo and my boo boo riding. All up in the black with his chick right beside him"

With out further adieu, time for Friend Makin Mondays. I think I deserve an award since I actually posted FMM on Monday! For you newbies, take the time to answer this week's questions on your own blog. Then add your link to the comments section of Kenlie's Blog, All the Weigh.  For you FMM vets, you already know the rules. So, Let's make some friends!

1.  When's your birthday? November 4th. And I am the epitome of a Scorpio!

2.  When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Probably 1980 something. I remember spending the summer with cousins in Louisiana and I met a boy. We wrote each other back and forth a few times and then our summer romance fizzled.

"Summer loving had me a blast...summer loving happened so fast..."

3. What did you eat for breakfast this morning? A hard boiled egg.

4.  Who is the next band or artist you hope to see live? Hopefully 311?? One of my favorite songs...Beautiful Disaster.


5. What is the last song you listened to? Beautiful Disaster by 311:-)

6. If you could be fluent in any other language,  which one would you choose? Spanish

7.  Does anything on your body hurt right now? Where should I start...how much time do you have? Let's see...my hip, ankle, shoulder...for starters. I just keep pushing and work through the pain!

8.  What's your favorite sports team? I loathe sports!

9.  How often do you watch the news? I don't watch that show. I find out everything I need to know from the Internet or the radio.

10. Do you wear glasses? No, but I think glasses may be on the horizon. Sometimes I do that thing where you move things back and forth trying to bring the print into focus. In my defense, the print was really small...it was.

Your turn, and don't forget to link up with Kenlie and ME TOO!  Come back and leave your link in my comment section so I can be nosy.

Now I know how Godzilla feels...

Back in the day I watched Godzilla movies. Maaaaan they really skimped on the production value...I realize that now. 

Getting to the point...

You ever watched a Godzilla movie?  In the movies Godzilla wreaks havoc by stomping her way through coastal Japanese cities terrorizing its inhabitants.

During Godzilla's tyrannical rants, she turns one way and then her tail follows later. That's the equivalent of me and my arse a.k.a. my junk, derriere, fanny, gluteus maximus...you get the picture.  My body turns one way and then my junk follows later. Today...I knocked a water bottle off a desk.

I walked into the cafeteria. Stopped. Turned to look for a fellow colleague...10 seconds later my "junk" followed suit.  AND THEN....

...a water bottle crashed to the floor.

I just stood there shaking my head as the bottle rolled. This afternoon I played derriere derby or bumper booties with another co-worker as we maneuvered around the table at a wedding shower.

I guess the 100s of lunges and squats I suffered through during bootcamp these last few weeks may be paying off. On a given day at bootcamp we completed somewhere from 50-100+ squats or lunges.  I must admit, my bottom feels a little firmer, still a bit dimply. Pretty soon my ba-dunk-a-dunk may need its on zip code...imjussayin.